I love this book by Gay Hendricks: The Big Leap. This Blog highlights a few of the keys points that I enjoyed!
He talks about how we all have what he calls an Upper Limit Problem. No matter how successful we are we all get pushed up against our Upper Limit Problem at times in life.
Upper Limit Problem:
When we don’t know that is is ok to experience unlimited joy, happiness and success. If we don’t know that it is okay to feel good and have a good time, experience deep love, ultimate fitness, and abundance, etc. then we will do something to mess it up.
If you would like to make a journey into your zone of genius, moving beyond your Upper Limit ask yourself these questions:
- Am I willing to increase the amount of time each day that I feel good each day? (an organic deep feeling of wellness)
- Am I willing to increase the amount of time that my whole life goes well?
- Am I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time?
First we must be willing!!!
And to take it a step further ask yourself a few more questions?
- Are you willing to feel joy, abundance, and success all the time in your life?
- Are you willing to experience ultimate success in love, money, and creative contribution in your life?
Great then you get to manifest this by recognizing your Upper Limit problem when it comes up, and living into a higher truth!
So introspect some more on this?
“How much joy and abundance am I willing to allow?”
“How am I getting in my own way?”
We are not taught this in school are we? Anyone taken a class called,
How to tolerate longer stretches of joy and success?
Why do we have an Upper Limit Problem?
4 fears & 4 false beliefs:
They all sound like this:
I can not expand to my full potential because…..
- Fundamentally Flawed: I can not expand to my full potential because….. I am fundamentally flawed in some way! Subconsciously it may sound like: “I don’t deserve to be too happy, rich, successful, or intimate in a relationship”, or “I am not good enough”
- Disloyalty & Abandonment: I can not expand to my full potential because…..it would cause me to be alone, disloyalty my roots, or leave behind people from my past. Guilt makes us put the breaks on our success!
- Did I break the family spoken or unspoken rules?
- Even though I am successful, did I fail to meet the expectations of my family?
- Burden: I can not expand to my full potential because…..I would be an even bigger burden than I am now. We sometimes pick up in childhood that we are a burden. We pick up on other peoples junk and it can stick with our subconscious mind. The false belief can melt away when we recognize from where it comes.
- Outshining: We don’t want to outshine our family, siblings, or others around us. I can not expand to my full potential because…..shining my light will put others down or make others feel bad. Gifted kids often learn to put the breaks on there genius to protect others around them.
After making the commitment to going the distance, you may find that any excuses that come up just don’t fit in anymore! The Ego is not necessary anymore. The Ego becomes faced with extinction and needs to be shown the door. The Ego may set off a smoke bomb of fear and try to stop you with vision of disaster and ruin. Understandable. Ego is about fear, Fear is about the unknown. So we transform the fear into the clarity of exhilaration!
Fear is Excitement without the Breath! -Fritz Pearl
Fear can be transformed by breathing with it!
When we try to get rid of feelings by denying it or ignoring it it gets stuck and paralyzes us. We hold our breath. Breath so deep into it and it will transform!!!! Take some deep belly breaths and feel into your body. Allow it to be, and It can’t stay for long.
The goal in life is not to obtain some imaginary ideal but to obtain our own gifts!
Guilt and the Upper Limit Problem:
I don’t deserve to feel this good!” So we feel guilty and sabotage our success!
Useful only if it is something you can do something about.
- Notice the worry
- Let go of worry thoughts
- What new positive thing is trying to come into being
- Check in with the body feeling
- Focus on the body feeling as long as you can
- See the positive that wants to come through
Criticism and Blame:
Number 1 destroyer of relationships!!!!
Criticism and Blame are addictions! Try to stop for a day. If it is an addiction it will unconsciously creep back. Aim to have relationships full of Support, Love, Gratitude and Curiosity instead of criticism and blame! It will take practice and will be so worth it!!! First be Aware of how, when and where it presents itself!!!
Person A: “Why did you leave this empty tea bag on the counter again? Can’t you pick up after yourself?”
Person B: “You never notice the hard work I do and how I just cleaned the floors!”
Person A: “That is good and all, but you have to learn how to put things away!”
Person B: “I am working my butt off here for this family, and all you see is the tea bag.”
ETC!!!! The Victim race is on!
When we race for the victim position we get stuck! We race for proof of who is the real victim here. When we take responsibility then when can shift and change patterns engrained since childhood. Arguments are just this. We argue about who has been wronged and we want to be right about it. Try this instead!
Each entity in the situation take s 100% responsibility for resolving the conflict. Come at it with deep curiosity! Allow the body to soften and melt. Then ask,
- Hmm? How can I make sure this never happens again?
- Hmm? Why am I having this experience right here right now?
- Hmm? How is this similar to other experiences I have had in life?
It can look like a playful intervention! Like when we feel ourselves getting into this place. Let’s pause and breath. Do something silly like shake, dance, melt! (More on this later in the Fear Melting Blog)
Your unique gifts!!!!
Ask yourself these questions to dive in deeper to what is your unique gifts to the world.
- I am at my best when…….
- When I am at my best the exact thing I am doing is?
- When I am doing that the thing I love most about it is?
Once we know our unique gifts then we can focus more energy toward our creative genius! Put your creativity first! Allow yourself to have creative time everyday and put it before the house, dishes, laundry, and emails! Start with 10 minutes a day! You then say to the universe that you value your unique creative contributions to this world.
I used to think I could not work until the house was clean. Now I prioritize my creative work first! The universe responds! Housework can come when I need a break!
You create time!! Time comes from you! You have the exact right amount of time you need to fulfill your mission on this planet!
Shifting your perspective on time can be so helpful. Catch yourself everytime you use time as an excuse! You may be how surprised this happens.
“I don’t have time” — This is not really true! We all have time.
“I choose to do this right now!” — This is more true
Whatever you say is important to you, make time for that first! Family, creative work, exercise, meditation. You choose what you do with your time. In fact, you create time!
So relax, slow things way way down. Be present in this moment, and time will open up for you!
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When you decide what you really want in life, and why it is important to you then there is nothing in the universe stopping you but you!
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